Hi guys, so I'm back from Malaysia :) Well, I actually returned on the 17th, but then I had lots of homework to finish. Although chinese new year is around the corner, my teachers have decided to overload us with homework. Ah well. :(
Anyway, the trip to Malaysia wasn't that bad, it wasn't as good as last year's trip to Vietnam, but hey, that's like a 6 day holiday although it was meant to build our character.
Most unfortunately, I didn't manage to take much photos. In fact I have no photos on the second and third day, and only 3 photos on the fifth day. The total number of photos would be 90+ only. I didn't have the chance to take the photo, since this trip was actually more like a leadership camp with all those activities (paintball, raft building... yeah, you get the idea). So for this year's chinese project (yes, the projects are back), I doubt I can do about this trip.
As soon as I have the time, I'll start uploading the pictures on imageshack, and then you'll get to see the pictures on the blog :) Nothing special actually, since it's Malaysia anyway, pretty much similar to Singapore. But at least it was still a holiday. And now it's back to studies again. It's going to be pretty dull soon... ...
Can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish I were back in Malaysia. Exactly one week ago, I would be in my friend's room (we stayed in a hotel), playing cards with others, ignoring the fact that we had to go to bed at 2230 hrs.
*edit* Apparently, after the protests from Wikipedia to stop the SOPA and PIPA from being passed, the FBIs took down MegaUpload. All that I would say is "wrong timing". I wonder what would happen to other file hosting websites as well... ...
So people, I'm going to Malaysia for a six-day school trip tomorrow, and will be back on the 18th. By then, there would be a lot of pictures! And not forgetting the tag thing that I promised Nisa, so my blog won't look dead, at least for this month!
Ow. I woke up today with my left eye swollen as I was rubbing my eyes quite badly as it was itching badly. Not a wise thing to do. I had to endure the uncomfortable feeling of not having both eyes open fully at the same time. Even now, at night, as I am typing this, my left eye is still swollen, albeit less than that in the morning.
So today, the second day of school, was when actual lessons began. However it was a short school day today, so no problems there :) We had a lesson on philosophy, and I almost fell asleep trying to comprehend what the teacher was trying to explain. And then it was literature, we are studying MacBeth. Almost fell asleep yet again, because of the Shakespearean language used...
Anyway like other days its a normal, ordinary school day. The stress isn't here yet, but soon will be. If only I had taken some pictures today of random stuff. But then again my phone's camera sucks, evident from the recent set of photos I uploaded on the blog (or rather, on imageshack). Ah well.
Right now, there's no motivation for me to study. Nothing pushes me to study. Of course, having that thought for the entire year would be disastrous, so I'm looking for motivation. And there's still the scholarships. I can work hard for them, but I hate facing failures. After all, it's not the first time I've competed nationwide and intra-school, and seriously, I wasn't somewhere up there for every single thing I sat for. First there's this secondary school that I initially applied for, the NUS high school of math and science, and there was an entry test. I didn't even make it through the first round :/
And then I remember sitting for a nationwide chemistry olympiad test, and naturally I wasn't selected to enter the semi-finals. There was a intra-school physics olympiad test, and yeah, you know the outcome. There was this scholarship I tried out (rather I had the opportunity to try out) which was from the Government, to reduce my school fees (it's expensive) and I wasn't selected yet again.
I remember those four, but there are, of course, more.
So right now, the scholarships can't work as motivation for me, unless my friends, along with the entire school, turns stupid. Or I become the only student in the level ^^ then there won't be problems being the first.
To end off, here's my favourite quote. I heard it somewhere in my brain.
"Life's not a journey, it's a series of competitions you'll ultimately lose one day" ~Darrell Tay :)
And so, school has started. It was horrible, and the day itself felt like years. Luckily there was no lessons; there were quite a bit of administrative stuff to settle (coz we're going to Malaysia the next week...)
Anyway, it was sort of nice to find out that most of my friends didn't grow much :) Yes, I am a short guy, and it would be horrible if after two months of holidays I would be literally be in the shadow of almost everyone. At least that made me happy a little.
On a darker note however, the teachers had to start the year with what was coming in the future. I can't take that. It's like emotionally draining you of everything before the year even started. It seemed much more stressful (naturally). Since I remained in the same science class, which was miracle considering my poor results, we had to do the same research topic we did last year. Except that this time we were notified of it early, and we were given a topic (nuts, and yes, the noun 'nuts'), and naturally, there would be higher expectations to be met. I can't face that. I'll probably go nuts.
And then the science teachers talked of science scholarships that we should aim for. Pretty pointless, especially when you have to be the top 8 in the level to be selected for the scholarship. Never once was I within the top 10 in my school, and so many people fighting for these 8 seats, it's indeed pointless to think I would be able to get that. Unless miracles happen, of course, but I never believed in miracles.
So, its a long and bumpy road ahead on this one-way street! Too bad time only moves forwards. To hell with entropy.
Well, so a year has passed, but I'm not at all ecstatic...
Now school's starting in two days, and my life would be shit once again. I'd rather stay in 2011 and not move on. Ah well. Perhaps I'm afraid of the future and what it would bring to me. After all, we all fear the unknown.
Now, back to the usual, one post per month "Life sucks" again...
On a slightly happier note, happy new year everyone!
*edit* I changed the audio in the blog to my favourite soundtrack so far - the reunion theme from the tearjerking movie Windstruck (K-movie, 2004). I set it to loop, but the only thing that is missing is a nice rain-like sound backdrop. If you don't understand what I mean, go to http://www.rainymood.com and leave this blog open. Its a soothing experience :)
Darrell Tay. 16. Chinese Singaporean. Normal, ordinary guy. Covered by shadows casted by others. Loves my guitar, heavy metal and darkness. Or rather, I've been used to it. You can probably find photos in the archives, but I take no responsibility if your computer screen's damaged. :)
My blog is four years old! I never stuck to a blog this long before :)