The Black World Of Solitude.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Ow. I woke up today with my left eye swollen as I was rubbing my eyes quite badly as it was itching badly. Not a wise thing to do. I had to endure the uncomfortable feeling of not having both eyes open fully at the same time. Even now, at night, as I am typing this, my left eye is still swollen, albeit less than that in the morning.

So today, the second day of school, was when actual lessons began. However it was a short school day today, so no problems there :) We had a lesson on philosophy, and I almost fell asleep trying to comprehend what the teacher was trying to explain. And then it was literature, we are studying MacBeth. Almost fell asleep yet again, because of the Shakespearean language used...

Anyway like other days its a normal, ordinary school day. The stress isn't here yet, but soon will be. If only I had taken some pictures today of random stuff. But then again my phone's camera sucks, evident from the recent set of photos I uploaded on the blog (or rather, on imageshack). Ah well.

Right now, there's no motivation for me to study. Nothing pushes me to study. Of course, having that thought for the entire year would be disastrous, so I'm looking for motivation. And there's still the scholarships. I can work hard for them, but I hate facing failures. After all, it's not the first time I've competed nationwide and intra-school, and seriously, I wasn't somewhere up there for every single thing I sat for. First there's this secondary school that I initially applied for, the NUS high school of math and science, and there was an entry test. I didn't even make it through the first round :/

And then I remember sitting for a nationwide chemistry olympiad test, and naturally I wasn't selected to enter the semi-finals. There was a intra-school physics olympiad test, and yeah, you know the outcome. There was this scholarship I tried out (rather I had the opportunity to try out) which was from the Government, to reduce my school fees (it's expensive) and I wasn't selected yet again.

I remember those four, but there are, of course, more.

So right now, the scholarships can't work as motivation for me, unless my friends, along with the entire school, turns stupid. Or I become the only student in the level ^^ then there won't be problems being the first.

To end off, here's my favourite quote. I heard it somewhere in my brain.

"Life's not a journey, it's a series of competitions you'll ultimately lose one day" ~Darrell Tay :)

:/

Labels: Darrell Tay

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